Feminism From a Single Woman Who Rebukes Authority

I watched a great movie with my swanky Iranian boyfriend, who couldn't be a better man if he tried. Boyfriend is NOT muslim by the way, he's Persian Baha'i.

The movie is called "Not Without My Daughter" with Sally Field. It's about an American woman married to an Iranian muslim man, they leave the States to visit Iran and he holds her and their daughter hostage in Iran while becoming violent and possessive. He reverts to his muslim ways. I recommend it to everyone.

While watching the movie I saw a lot of the things I went through with my ex-husband - the control, hitting, manipulation and it all made me think about the way I felt about our life together, my place in the relationship and how much I hated him.

At the time of being married to a complete idiot, I HATED my place as a woman and I embraced a lot of the ideas that feminists carry. simply because I was placing everything I hated in my life onto him. I hated cleaning FOR him, I hated cooking FOR him, staying home taking care of our daughter FOR him while he was out drinking our money away or cheating on me.

I remember feeling like a slave in my own life. Like nothing was changing and when my life was over I would have nothing to be proud of except supporting HIM in HIS career! He wasn't worth my time!

It was ALWAYS me who did everything that needed to be done, from caring for our child to cooking and cleaning to mowing the lawns and repairing our vehicles. The guy was a waste of any womans time and when he did have one or two responsibilities he always managed to fuck them up or just refused to do them. I learned that I couldn't trust anyone but myself. The whole experience made me angry and hating my place as a woman.

He was never home since the first year of our daughters birth. I have essentially slept alone for the last 17 years. I am amazed by that myself!

If I dared get angry about anything it resulted in some form of "punishment" or physical injury. He has always been angry that I got away and he's tried many times to "get me" but my daughter and I have survived it all.

That was all back in 1999, when I finally felt my daughter was old enough for me to leave him. Leaving him was without question the BEST decision I could have made in my life! I was happier almost immediately! Our standard of living went up by about 500% and my daughter and I have had some great times together! Something that never could have happened had I stayed with him constantly cleaning up after him and taking care of everything at home.

Now, after all of these years of being on my own and dealing with everything I have looked back at how I used to feel like I was doing everything FOR him.

The fact is.....feminism uses my very genetic make up against me. It teaches that women do these things FOR men and as a single woman of many years I can tell you that I LIKE things to be a certain way! I LIKE my home to be clean and neat, I like to have flowers everywhere and to keep busy around the house. I LIKE being a woman! I just didn't like who I was married to!

I never did any of that for him, I did it because I'm a woman and I like being a woman. I have kept my home super clean for the last 8 years without any stupid man around to shit it up and so shall I until I die.

If I had a 1/2 acre yard again, I would mow it again too! I would still have a huge flower bed every place possible and I would still love hanging out with kids more than adults.

I do these things for myself because I love being a woman.

Now I have a boyfriend and he's a little tank of muscle, he's a total guy and he enjoys guy things. I brought him into my apartment and I showed him some of my paintings on the walls but he didn't care.....he sat at the computer and watched racing videos. Oh, he tried to be polite about it but his attention span was about 3.4 seconds. As soon as he saw there were racing videos on the computer I may as well not have been in the room. It's OK! He's a guy and I'm a girl...of course we aren't going to be into the same things. Yes, I could get mad that he's "not sensitive" or that he has different interests but honestly.......come on! He's a big teddy bear!

So ladies, next time some feminist voice makes you feel like you are less than what you think you are, just remember that you are the Queen of your castle and that castle reflects who YOU are, not your stupid, filthy, meat eating husband. LOL!!!

Just remember that no one can make you happy - that's YOUR job! Do what makes you feel happy and NEVER offer the credits of what you achieve to anyone but YOU!

And don't get mad because your man has different interests than you - I see a lot of women being offended over silly things. Me, I'm amused by male behavior - as long as it doesn't involve being an idiot....like SOME men I have *ahem*...been married to.....

I enjoy sharing in things that men like...I learn new things and almost always it results in some form of laughing at the man.

~Samantha